God and Life(OMG! I can't believe I wrote this)!

[tEch maN]

praise the lord! yo! check please
i'm rollin with thug life behind my shoulder
rockin my gat on the inside since i was a toddler
carrying the carpenters cross on my leg, not a follower
i don't need no help from the boss above, fuck ya'll
it all depends on this single slug, can't hesitate or stall
well here goes nuthin mug, oh shit fuckin p.d.
fuckin a, now i got 25 to life, at least my cell has a.c.
but yo, maybe its me, or maybe its the weed
but yo baby, i'm going back to hadies, or brazil
where i'll slap those fat assed ladies, this shit is ill
lets see how far the rabbit hole goes, pop the red pill
omg listen to this cracker flow, he'll make yur brain explode
(HELL YEAH BITCHZ)
i've lived the lives of a thousand men*2
i've carried over a thousand sins*2
and i'm telling you we ain't no where close to the end*2
now as i sit in my cage i can finally make amends*1

[tEch maN]

short, but it says a lot

[notes]

i think this was too short for the subject matter...but good start on it man...props for stayin active n shit man...def big ups...keep em comin and just try to add to the length a bit just so you fully utilizin your subject ya know...but stay up man1

[notes]

aight i can see you put more effort into this here...so i'ma try to give a bit insight...

aight...you definately elevating wit this shit man...but i think you gotta concentrate on fittin your rhyme yo subject ya feel me...
ya rhyme scheme needs a bit of work..and your structure could be a little more complex....yo dawg don't take none of what i say negatiely though i enjoyed readin this shit i just wanta see a cat as dedicated as yourself fully utilize his potential man...keep this up and keep droppin i'ma be around to feed back on em...oh and for real man...thanks for stickin it out here...we gonna get shit poppin in a minute...1

[tEch maN]

no prob man...i know how it goes